6 years have a now passed
January 2008; It has certainly been an interesting time. If you read through the site then you know that we were married in November 2004 and have just passed our 3rd anniversary. We are still as happy today as we were when we met. I now have a step-daughter and our relationship is very important to me. She has 2 children, Morgan (3) and Jennifer (18 Months), and both regard me as their Grandad. Strange huh? A GrandFather at 48. It is a strange feeling, I sometimes blink and think that I'm really not their GrandFather, I'm just their Grandmothers husband then they look at you and you feel the love. They fall asleep on your lap or just cuddle you.
With Jennifer's birth came something that was completely unexpected, she unlocked something from my past that other's had intimated at but I did not believe, abuse. We'll deal with that more in the Abuse section of this website.
On my son Tom. He's been our here twice now and each time wanted to comeback for the next public holiday and each time my ex-wife refuses. I have told him that we want him with us and when we start negotiations with the ex, he closes down and refuses to take it further. He turns 16 this month and I hope that he will start to make his own decisions. All I do is pray for him and keep in contact.
With the savagery of the divorce over my feelings towards her are now pretty neutral. I have little communications with her unless it concerns Tom. I bear her no ill will, in fact sometimes I look back and feel a sadness for what was lost especially when I talk to Tom. Time does heal wounds but it certainly leaves scars. My recovery started when I accepted, with great difficulty, that I once loved her. As hard as it sounds, I was just a provider to her in the end. She remarried about a year after me and I can say that I was happy for her.
I'll keep this updated when thoughts come to mind.
January 2010; So much has happened in the last year that has profoundly effected both Vivienne and Myself due primarily to yours truly. I turned 50 this year and the expectation of that has such an effect on my sub conscience. I became terrible irritable, touchy and very defensive over the houses security. Okay we live in South Africa and we have been robbed by armed robbers.
But it was so over defensive. We came very, very close to splitting up this year and even today we are sleeping in separate rooms until I can afford proper psychiatric counselling. What is coming up are ghosts and demons from my past that I will not confront yet am aware of, if that makes sense.
We still love each other deeply and after Tom's birth she is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
May 2012: Back in the swing again and enjoying my marriage. I finally appreciate that Vivienne is my other and we are happy that to me letting go of the past.
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