God, Our Father

God, Our Father

Hmmm, where to start? Ahh! the divorce had started with a vengeance by now. It was 2002 and we still had to share a house that we'd bought together. I basically lived from my bedroom and she had the rest of the house. I recall that I waited until "Eastenders" started to make my dinner every night. She watched it religiously do I could have the kitchen to myself. Shame it was only on 3 nights a week. The other two nights we'd I would invariably get visits with her making a cup of tea and such trying to make chit-chat or worse slamming cupboards. Sad really but I used to get a small glint of satisfaction if the cupboard assaults were as a result of something I'd said or done.

Well one Saturday, it was her weekend away, I was at a second hand book stall in Reading. Just browsing through the old decorating tables that creaked under the weight of ; the books. Suddenly, my eye was drawn to a book in front of me - the bible. I still to this day do not know what made me do it...Desperation...The need for hope? Who knows. Well I picked up the Bible looked at it, considered an idea, then put it back down again. I circled the tables and eventually found myself back in front of that Bible again. I picked it up, dismissed my negative thought and said to quietly to myself , "you get me through this and I'll learn all about you". - meaning God. Had I known how much my life would have changed , I may have considered this promise a lot. earlier in life

Here's the thing. There was no lightning bolt from Heaven or wild cheers from  the angelic bleachers, just me and the Bible. But from that day things slowly started to change, subtly but change came. I flicked through the book and reflected on the task ahead but once I set my mind to something, I do it. Genesis - "In the beginning". Each night I read at least three verses and started to keep my end of the bargain. It was heavy going, the Bible was not written for easy reading. (a note: If you are having problems understanding what your are reading, pray for help from the Father, and understanding will come. It may take a few days but it will come.) I didn't learn this simple thing until I'd read over half the bible. This is about you and God, not anyone else... Just the two of you. It is very important that you do not rely on anyone, other than Jesus, to start to build your relationship with God. If you need help, he'll send someone. This is all about you and him and you'll only get out of it what you put into it.

Anyway back to my story. Each night I'd read a few chapter and after a few months I looked back on that day and things had started to change. My strength returned, my belief that there must be something better had also started to return. What astonished me completely was that here was a nation that had been slaves for 400 years when God sent Moses back to his people. These chosen people saw God's miracles, God's hand leading them to the eventual exodus and the promised land. They saw Pharaohs army destroyed and drown in the sea. They saw God leading the way as a pillar of cloud in the day and fire at night. What would you pay to see this? To what corner of the Earth would you go for the opportunity to witness this yourself? Well within a tiny march of time his people were free and Moses had gone up to the mountain to talk with God and learn how they must now live.

Now what did his chosen people do after seeing all these miracles, after walking to freedom from slavery? They used the gold that was given by Pharaoh and fashioned an idol, a false God, to help them. Hello!!! Earth calling chosen people, can you hear me? This trend runs right through the old testament, "save me, save me, save me!", they'd shout and the Father saved. Send kings and hero's to save his people and each time again they'd stray again. Can you imagine it? All God asked was to be loved an honored as their Father and God and for it they were given a land of milk and honey. There were a few true lovers of God that served him and God took care of these men and women even when they stumbled. It is a sad truth but this basic behaviours exists today even more strongly. New age philosophy's abound, moon gods, sun gods, astrology, spiritualism.. the lists seems endless and is growing. My basic rebellion from the church lead me down these dark corridors searching for the truth. This is explained in greater detail in New Age.

My wife, Vivienne, has taught me so much since starting my new path. She taught me that God is not a giant mystical energy force but a person - a man...a Father to us all. I learned to use my heart to feel him, I learned to use my heart to see him. All you have to do is believe that he does love you unconditionally. He knows the first thing you did when you were born and the last thing you will do when you die. He knows the secrets of your heart, he knows your anger, and he knows your dreams. The hardest thing to do is believe. To keep true faith is even harder but we'll go into that later.

So as I read the Bible, besides the continuing trend help me, help us and they when the going got better turning their backs. I was also astonished at the violent and savage world that encompassed the old testament. I reconciled this by just looking at the world today. Where a persons life is valued on what he has in his pocket or in his bank. Those times were violent yes but also primitive in comparison with today. Violence is abundant in every life of society. Not just locally but internationally between countries and governments, corporations and high finance. Today we have the wealth to feed and cloth everybody, the knowledge to do this is in all government's control but we do not. We allow to the poor to starve and go on about our day with a cursory look, and comments like "Oh, isn't that sad, poor people." But times are changing. Things will get a lot worse before they get better

Anyway back to the Bible, so 400 years had passed and Israel was a strong and vibrant nation. David, God's beloved, was king. First uniting and then ruling over the houses of Israel. David loved God for God and God loved David, God loved David's heart, his purity of love. David so loved God that He wanted to build a house for him in Jerusalem but God wouldn't allow it, David had too much blood on his hands but God promised that Solomon, David's son would build it. So David did the next best thing, he amassed a fortune in gold, silver and brass. Stockpiled building materials for that wonderful day.

Now David's time had come and Solomon was declared King over the houses of Israel. God asked Solomon in a dream what he wanted, Wealth power or glory. Solomon instead asked for knowledge, the wisdom to rule and judge Gods people justly. This so pleased God that he not only gave Solomon wisdom but also wealth, power and glory. Solomon started work on the temple, God home on Earth. Imagine it, a place where you could go to see God, to feel him. Israel built God's home and was joyous in the task and finally the great day came. The temple was ready and God's home on Earth was near. Up to this point God had lived in the tabernacle (a tent). Solomon dedicated the temple and laid down the rules again for his people.

Then it happened, cloud descended and covered the temple and drifted the inner sanctum, the holy of holies. God was at home, in residence. For the first time in human history God had an address. God was a tangible. Here he was! And what happened. Sadly the power and allure turned Solomon's heart from God. He'd married princesses from Egypt, Syria and other countries and then made his most terrible mistake. He set up temples for his wives to worship their false Gods. Israel had yet again broken God heart. But God being God, kept his promise and Israel was not punished until after Solomon has passed into God's kingdom.

Retribution came, prophets called for Israel to return to their Father but this didn't happen. During the course of the next few hundred years, Israel and Judah we're destroyed. Their peoples became the reviled of the land. Eventually they we're sent to Babylon to serve the conquerors and all that was left were a precious few caretakers left to tend to Nebuchadnezzar's new territory.

Eventually came Malachi, The old testaments last prophet begging Judah and Israel to listen. Sadly they did not and what followed was 400 years of silence from God. Not one word… Not one whisper.

Then came God himself incarnated into Jesus, our redeemer and saviour. Jesus is the road to God. With My learning on Jesus Christ , our messiah, comes my personal interaction with our Father. Man to man or woman. It's here that I am learning my greatest lessons. About the power of faith. How to conceive it and how to hold onto it.