Ravenstain - The darkness of Healing
This poem marks a landmark in my recovery and the realisation that my problems are within me, I am my own worse enemy. At best this poem can be described as pseudo healing. By that I mean not attacking the root but at least recognising the weeds between the flowers. This poem marked the long start to getting back to where I'd lost the me. The unedited version of Ravenstain is over 12 pages long. I hope it the condensed version helps you...
There is a mystic place where nobody goes
Where miracles can happen that no one will know,
In this undiscovered land there are many terrain's,
From tall, dark mountains to wide, open plains.
In the dark mountains Daemons dwell,
Feeding on the pain that stolen innocence expels,
Waiting for the day that they can again descend,
And bring about another victim's untimely end.
By comparison on the peaceful plains far below,
Live a tribe of people that seem to know,
How to live in harmony with all on their land,
Welcoming all with open arms and smiling hands.
Between the cold mountains and open plains,
Is the great haunted forest called Ravenstain,
When your sufferings unbearable and your heart bleeds,
When it's become a daily struggle to get up and breathe.
It's now you'll find yourself in this forest of pain,
To learn of the dark secrets hidden in Ravenstain,
The sounds, the smell...The very air,
Reek of lingering death and hopeless despair.
Desperately isolated with nowhere to turn,
No water for tears so your eyes sizzle and burn,
For at longlast it's now finally come the time,
To answer for too many unpunished crimes.
Through the canopy of dead leafs you hear Daemon's yell,
Descending from their mountains into your private hell,
Suddenly drumbeats float up from the plains far below,
You want to run for your sanity but there's nowhere to go.
No fantasy to hide in or lonely life left to disguise,
It time to stand up and fight, will you open your eyes,
Or finally give up and fade to deathly grey,
Living what's left of your life as Daemon's prey.
The Daemon's enter the clearing where you've tried to hide,
In that instant the drums from far below suddenly subside,
In the echoing silence all that can be heard in the dark,
Is the frantic beating of your torn, tattered heart.
The Daemons start spewing up their festered sin,
Throwing putrid accusations as your heart starts to dim,
How worthless your are & should have never come to be
You're not fit to be loved and deserve all misery.
What's left of your heart starts to fade in the dark,
Save for one tiny corner where there still burns a spark,
You fall to your knees with a thundering boom,
As the ravenous Daemons move in to consume.
Struggling to your feet from your blooded knee's,
Mustering what's left of your self-respect and dignity,
The biggest Daemon lunges for you, to the other's uproar,
As your begin your final battle on the forest floor.
Amid the stench and flailing claws you get on top,
But there's a change to this Daemon as you suddenly stop,
Its sulphurous yellow eyes are now deep baby blue,
and this change awakens a memory hidden from view.
You rip at it's fangs and grey, rancid skin,
You feel that there's much more concealed deep within,
As you tear away the final layers from its rotting mask,
What you behold makes your tortured soul gasp.
You jump up and back off the horror you've seen,
refusing to accept, your mind rebels and screams,
Footspteps come racing at you from behind,
As you spin around to face more of their kind.
But these are not more Daemons but the tribe from below,
That have raced up to help you because they also know,
From this place you will either fight back or die,
To become a dull glint where was once sparkling eyes.
A tribesman points silently to the Daemon on the floor,
As your poor tattered heart beats faster than before,
What you had found in this Daemon, so angry and wild,
Is you when you were once just an innocent young
The still tiny spark in your heart starts to glow,
And as you pick the child up, it begins to grow,
It's bright light start to shine through Ravenstain's Gloom,
As the once haunted forest starts to open and bloom.
As you look at yourself, then and now, in the eyes,
A terrible truth dawns as you both realise,
The pain of the parents has passed to the son,
And this sad history can not be erased or undone.
Each Daemon represents a cut to your heart,
That you deliberately buried to rot in the dark,
As each tribesman is a kindness once received and repaid,
When a simpler gesture could have easily been made.
As your comfort the child, you both start to cry,
At the pain you shared and how your innocence died,
Your innocence is not dead, it's always been with you,
It was just locked away from the harm others can do.
Now you know the secret wonder hidden in Ravenstain,
And the damage that we do by hiding our pain,
There are no sins to pay for or unpunished crimes,
Only answer why you sold yourself out in past times.
We all have times when we think we'll go insane,
And it's those times that bring us to Ravenstain,
You have a wonderful gift - a chance for a fresh start,
While rebuilding listen to the child and your brave heart.
copyright: Alan Graham 2002 - 2010
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